Comfort
by StarTraveler
Summary: Takes place during the Journey to Babel. After an confrontation with Sarek, Spock seeks comfort from the one man he can trust. Slash, First Time.


AN:I have a poll on my profile page for both TOS and Reboot. Who is your least favorite pairing?

Disclaimer:I own nothing.

++++++++++++++

+The flames of desire blazed into an inferno as the lovers moved together in perfect sync. The fire melded not just their minds, but their bodies as well. Soon, they both cried out as the golden one climaxed first, followed by the darker one. The fire completely consumed them, making them feel as though they'd been burned to ashes.

Spock came back to himself and rolled over onto his side, caressing his lover's face, "Jim… I-"

Jim put a finger to Spock's lips. "It's all right; you don't need to talk. Just rest." Jim cradled Spock's head to his chest and Spock listened to Jim's heartbeat - steady and soothing, just like the man himself.

Spock closed his eyes and thought back, briefly, to the events that had led him to this moment.

It had been fifteen years since he had left Vulcan - left behind a world that had never truly accepted him because of his human blood. His father's parting words were always in the back of his mind: "If you leave this world - if you join Starfleet - you will never again be my son. I will treat you as a complete stranger."

Spock had stood his ground, tall and proud. "I will choose my own destiny. And you have never made me feel like your son." He walked off before Sarek could respond.

Spock had excelled in the academy, graduating first in his class and getting posted to the Enterprise under Captain Pike, who had given him limitless opportunities to build his career. But if was James Kirk who gave him friendship and a feeling of belonging he'd never before experienced. But still, Sarek's words remained.

Then Jim had given him the news of the Babel conference, but no one knew that Ambassador Sarek was his father - Command had sealed that part of his record so no one could make accusations of favoritism. Sarek had come onboard, remote as ever, and though Jim had been shocked when Spock admitted his parentage, he'd hidden it well.

Later, Spock had been in engineering when Jim walked in with Sarek, "You have an impressive ship, Captain, and an excellent crew."

Spock heard the smile in Jim's voice as he replied, "Thank you, Ambassador," and had called Spock over to explain the engines. Sarek's eyes went cold and his voice sharp. "I gave Spock his first instruction in computers. He chose to devote his knowledge to Starfleet instead of the Vulcan Science Academy." Spock had quickly excused himself.

Afterwards, his mother had come to him and requested that he join her on the observation deck. Spock nodded, and together they walked down the corridor and into one of the few areas where Spock had always felt comfortable. The room had been filled with plants from various worlds to make a person forget, for awhile, that they were on a starship.

"It's beautiful, Spock."

"Yes; it is most aesthetically pleasing." Just then, Sarek had walked in.

"I am sorry to disturb you."

Amanda shook her head, seeming unsurprised at the intrusion. "Oh no, you're not. I want the two of you to talk. That's why I asked you to meet me here, Sarek."

She turned to Spock. "And why I had you come here with me. Please, talk to each other; do it for me, at least." Her tone left no room for argument, and neither did her subsequent exit.

The two men faced each other.

"You are looking well, Sarek," Spock said stiffly, hands behind his back.

"As are you, Spock. I trust you are content here?"

"Yes, I am. My work is very pleasing."

"Do you feel truly… at home, here?"

Spock inclined his head minutely. "I have achieved a balance that pleases me."

Sarek nodded in kind. "Being with humans has not made you less Vulcan."

Spock felt the beginning stages of anger at Sarek's baiting of him. "What do you want me to say? Is there something you want of me, Sarek?"

Sarek's eyes hardened. "I wanted you to be my son - to follow through with the responsibilities that were required of you, and to follow my teachings and those before you."

"To let you control me and plan my entire life," Spock nearly spat. "No matter what I did, Sarek, it was never good enough for you."

He stood up straighter. "I finished trying to be what you wanted me to be a long time ago."

Spock's father called after him as his son strode away. "Don't walk away, Spock - it is never the answer."

Spock did not turn back. "It was the best thing fifteen years ago, and it remains so now."

Spock kept going out of the room and saw his mother standing outside. Amanda's blue eyes were filled with compassion and long-suffering at the fights between her husband and son. "Spock…"

Spock was in no condition to bear her excuses for his father's behavior and continued past his mother. "I will not discuss it anymore, Mother – with you or with him."

"Spock?" Amanda looked at him, eyes widening. Spock simply walked off and boarded a turbolift. "Deck five."

He began to shake and tried to suppress the tremors as the turbolift started up. The next thing he heard was Jim's voice.

He looked into those hazel eyes and saw only concern. "Jim…"

Jim silently put his arm around Spock's shoulder and guided him toward the captain's own quarters. Jim sat him down on the couch and went to the replicator.

Spock put two fingers together, trying vainly to gain some ground and calmness. Jim returned with some ginger tea and handed it to Spock, who drank it and felt a little better. Jim sat next to him but continued to keep silent.

"Thank you, Jim," Spock whispered.

Jim smiled, dimples and all. "I'd do anything for you, Spock."

Slowly, Spock told him what happened. Jim was stalwartly on his friend's side. "Spock, it's your life. He doesn't run it."

"Every time I think that I am free-"

"You are free, Spock," Jim said firmly.

Spock sighed, neither conceding nor rebutting.

"Thank you for being here, Jim."

"There's no place I'd rather be, Spock. You're way more important than entertaining snotty ambassadors."

Spock stared at Jim - at the way the ship's lighting highlighted Jim's beautiful blond hair and the way his hazel eyes sparkled with emotion; when he looked at someone; or even just with life.

For a while, they sat silently, drinking their tea, and soon Spock felt brave to ask for what he'd longed for.

"May I kiss you?"

The emotion to fill Jim's eyes was surprise, but he nodded and leaned closer to Spock; their lips touched softly as Spock kissed tentatively, and Jim deepened it. Spock took it as a positive sign, and they came up for air.

"Spock, I-" Jim paused to catch his breath. "You're amazing," he finished.

Spock smiled, and they began kissing again, passion building as pent-up emotions came to the surface. Spock pulled the man flush against his body.

Spock's dark eyes met those hazel ones. "Jim, you have always been my t'hy'la' – my 'friend, brother, lover' in your language. You have been my friend and brother - please, grant me t'hy'la for at least this night."

Jim hesitated, and then nodded, tears in his eyes.

They stood up and kissed again; a flame began to dance in both of their minds. "Do not fight this, Jim," Spock murmured. "It comes to those who are of the same mind and spirit, and when they become completely t'hy'la."

++++++++++++++++++

Jim stared at this beautiful Vulcan, the person Jim trusted with his very life - he'd had feelings for him for a long time. Feelings for men were nothing new - though many people assumed Jim was a ladies' man, he liked both men and women. At first, Jim thought it had been mere fondness, but he'd really started to notice it when those space spores had affected Spock and he had found the Vulcan with Leila. But Jim finally had to face that he was falling in love with Spock when the Pon Farr had hit Spock and he almost died. Even after being forced to fight on the sands of Vulcan, Jim hadn't hated him. In fact, after that, they'd seemed closer; Spock had seemed more open.

Their chess games had resumed, and so had their meals in the mess hall. On the bridge, they remained professional, although sometimes it seemed Spock hung around his chair more often. Soon, they began going on walks to the observation deck together, and would spend time just staring at the stars or sitting side by side.

It wasn't long before Jim began to miss Spock when he wasn't around; he actually felt heartbroken even if Spock was in his quarters next door. Then, when women began to flirt with Spock, Jim couldn't understand why he burned with the desire to strangle them.

Spock was a very attractive man - the pointed ears; a lean, muscled body that his uniform showed off shamelessly; those dark eyes that seemed fathomless; the aura of mystery he gave off without realizing it.

It was the day when Nurse Chapel pulled off her "I have to flirt" routine with Spock that Jim finally realized what he was feeling.

I'm in love with Spock and I just can't tell him. It seemed like such a huge precipice between them.

Who knew what would happen after this night, but Jim wanted to take that leap - he wanted Spock to be with him, and Spock was willing. Jim touched Spock's face, "Whatever you want," he whispered. Spock nodded, and Jim could feel the slight trembling. He allowed Spock to lead, and together, they fell onto the bed.

++++++++++++

+Spock raised his head and looked at Jim's sleeping form; the man looked like a golden angel both when he was asleep and when he was awake. For one night, that perfection had belonged to him, but Spock knew that when Jim awoke, he would be feeling regretful and embarrassed.

It was an hour before Spock was due on the bridge, so he dressed quietly and, after writing Jim a note, went to his quarters to shower, change, and eat breakfast. He could still feel Jim's sweet heat and dusky scent.

Jim awoke, immediately conscious of the fact that he was alone. He sat up and saw a PADD on his desk.

Jim –  
Last night meant a great deal to me, but I thought it would be best if I departed before you woke up. For one night, we were t'hy'la, and I will treasure it always.  
Yours,  
Spock

Jim cursed and made his way into the shower. He needed to knock some sense into his stubborn Vulcan.

Jim dressed and ate quickly, then went to find Spock in the science labs. "Spock."

"Captain." The Vulcan didn't look up from his readings.

"You're pretty formal after everything we did." Jim quipped, voice hard.

"Jim. I have been around humans long enough to know how 'one night stands' work." Jim's hazel eyes grew stormy, and Spock could swear he saw lightning bolts in them.

"Now you wait just one-"

The communications consul beeped.

"Security to Captain Kirk."

Kirk calmed himself down from the instant desire to curse. "Kirk here."

"This is Lieutenant Joseph, sir; I'm on deck eleven, section A. I just found one of the Tellerites murdered." The lieutenant paused. "I think it's the ambassador himself, sir."

+++++++++++++++

Six hours later, Spock stood in sickbay with McCoy. The last few hours had thrown everyone for a loop - the Tellerite ambassador was dead, Sarek was the prime suspect, and now the older Vulcan was bedridden by a heart attack with only Spock's blood to save him.

McCoy had ordered him to rest, so Spock was returning to his quarters. As he walked down the corridor, Spock wished it was still last night, with Jim writhing underneath him and the flame burning between them. He'd never felt that way with anyone.

At once, unbidden, a flicker of anger and fear came into his mind, but it wasn't his. Jim was in trouble! He heard a commotion ahead in the hallway and raced toward it.

He came upon Jim struggling with an Andorian, who was starting to pull out a knife. Spock quickly knocked the man down and held him while Jim called security.

"Are you all right, Jim?"

"Yes; what about you, Spock?"

"I am well."

Security soon came and took the Andorian to the brig. Jim smiled. "I'm glad you came this way."

"Doctor McCoy ordered me to my quarters."

Jim raised an eyebrow. "And you followed his advice?"

Spock remained somber. "I know now that it was the right decision."

Jim nodded, but his tone became sterner. "We really need to talk later."

"I know, Jim," Spock agreed. "I desire a talk as well."

Twenty-four hours later, Spock lay in a sickbay bed. He had managed to survive giving blood to his father, the Andorian imposter was dead after committing suicide, and in two more days, the crew would arrive at Babel.

Amanda had nursed both of her stubborn Vulcans, and she had accepted Spock's apology for what he had said. Spock and Sarek were currently alone, barely looking at each other.

"Are you well, Spock?"

"I am sufficient, Sarek; how are you?"

"Tired, but satisfactory. Your mother is resting." Spock inclined his head in acknowledgment.

Sarek took a deep breath. "She is such a remarkable, strong woman. It takes much strength to 'put up' with me, to borrow a human phrase – and that part of her is in you, as well."

Sarek went silent, then continued. "Admitting my faults is no easy task, but in raising you to be Vulcan, like me, I forgot that you are also human. I should have respected that part of you, and I should have spoken up when other taunted you for it." The older Vulcan's icy eyes seemed to melt, if only just, as he went on. "I tried to instill Vulcan discipline to solve that problem. I am glad that you… stood up to me, and joined Starfleet. I see that it is where you belong." Now, the older Vulcan's eyes held a degree of warmth. "Your human side belongs with you as well, and… I hope that both halves can finally co-exist."

Spock stared at his father and found sincerity, as only a Vulcan could show. "Thank you… Father."

Sarek nodded, allowing himself the briefest of smiles. "When I am well, my son, perhaps we can finally share a mind meld."

Spock felt a thrill go through him; such a close experience would help him truly understand Sarek. "That would be very… pleasing, Father."

"Does your captain please you as well?" Sarek asked gently.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Why are you asking this?"

"He came after the attack, while you were sleeping; he must have thought I was asleep as well. I watched how he looked at you; I've seen him looking at you since I've come onboard. He loves you, my son."

Spock looked at his father, trying not to show shock or any other emotions as his mind processed this information. Years ago, he would have been horrified at the idea of a crewmate being in love with him and would have taken all necessary steps to halt their affections. He probably would have transferred and gone back to Vulcan. But he was also half-human, and he knew he couldn't run from it. Maybe it was time to stop trying to be in control all the time and just let destiny decide where to lead him.

He'd had feelings for Jim for a long time, and they had been forming long before last night. Love with Jim presented so many unknowns, but what is life without risk? Jim's words from another mission came to mind and helped push Spock to answer.

"I love him, Father."

Sarek gave another tilt of his lips. "Once you are free of the sickbay, you would do well to go to him." His lips quirked higher. "And for once in your life, please do listen to me."

Spock leaned back and closed his eyes as he let Sarek's words sink in.

Four days later, Spock had recovered and wanted to talk to Jim, who had been on-planet most of the time. While in his quarters after being released for light duties, the door chimed, and Spock knew exactly who it was. "Come."

The door opened and Jim walked in curtly. "We need to have that talk."

Spock nodded, "I am more than ready, Jim." The man nodded and began.

"I know Vulcans don't practice one-night stands. When you find a t'hy'la, it means you've found your mate for life." Jim took a breath. "It also means - you're in love."

"How do you know this, Jim?"

The hazel eyes filled with love and humor. "I've done research; your father was helpful, and I know it's want you want from our link." His eyes lent their affectionate emotions to his smile. "Sarek woke up while I was looking at you and asked point-blank if I loved you. I said yes, because I do."

Now it was Spock's turn to take a deep breath. "I did not want to leave that morning, but I was afraid to see you wake with regret and thinking you had… used me. I know you did it to comfort me" – he paused - "and because you love me."

He reached out and stroked Jim's face. "I love you, James Kirk."

Jim's lips were mere inches from his own; Spock followed them as they moved. "Took you long enough to say it."

Spock allowed himself the smallest eyebrow raise in response. "You must be a sorcerer, Jim; you have bewitched me."

Jim smiled wider. "Believe me, it goes both ways, Spock."

Their lips came together, and time stopped, everything disappearing as the flames came blazing between them once more. They managed to make it to the bed, Spock gasping as Jim palmed his erection through his uniform pants.

They managed to undress, and this time Jim took the lead, pushing Spock onto his back and stroking the ridges on his cock. Spock moaned softly as Jim's tongue licked the lip but couldn't control the shout when Jim took Spock into his mouth.

"Jim!"

Nimble fingers cupped his balls, and after a minute or so, Spock could hold back no longer, and emptied himself into Jim's eager mouth. Jim released him and sat back, eyes smoldering.

"I filled you that night, Spock. Right now, I need you to fill me."

Spock reached over to his bedside stand and grabbed a tube of lubricant in the drawer. He put some into his hand and smeared it onto his erect cock. Jim groaned and spread his legs; Spock took the muscular thighs and wrapped them around his hips.

Jim's eyes had gone black. "Fill me, Spock - I need you. I won't hold anything back."

Spock's felt his heart flutter at the sincere words. "I will do my best give you… all that I have." He gently pushed himself into Jim's body and held still, waiting for his t'hy'la to adjust. Jim moved his hips and Spock entered him completely, beginning to thrust.

Spock's breathing increased. "You are my oasis, Jim."

"And you're my… my scorching desert." Jim panted , voice husky.

Lips met in a searing kiss as their bodies moved together. The flickering flames soon grew into an inferno, and they gave themselves over to it willingly.

Soon, the fire overwhelmed them, and the world dissolved into a million multicolored pieces. Spock lowered Jim's legs to the bed as they lay clinging to each other, Spock still inside him.

"I love you, Spock."

*My t'hy'la*. Spock's mind voice came in his mind.

*T'hy'la,* Jim whispered back in wonderment.


End file.
